Category Archives: Tips & Reviews

Why We Shouldn’t “Clear The Road” For Our Kids

kids graduation

It’s not easy to say this, but part of a parent’s job is to help our kids not need us.

This became very clear to me, last week, when my daughter Christy moved to New York City.  To many, the Big Apple is a scary, fast-pace place. Christy, however, thrives in this city. New York energizes her, she says.

At 21, Christy , a recent college graduate, was able to secure a much sought-after position in New York.  She found an apartment through Craigslist, rented a car, subleased her old apartment in Tennessee, paid her bills, packed up her stuff and drove 13 hours to her new home in Brooklyn. She figured out every single detail on her own. After all, she’s an adult, and that’s what adults do.

To say that I’m proud of her and her sister, is a huge understatement. Their focus, hard work, attitude and resilience, is what I admire most.

My children were never the children who got what they want, when they want it. Each success was earned with hard work and commitment. Their work ethic is everything. Their dedication, admirable. They stick to their goals and achieve their dreams.

Parents often try so hard to create magical memories for their children to keep them happy.  In the meantime, they remove obstacles and often fail to teach qualities like character, perseverance, patience, and determination. Basically, everything that they’ll need to be happy, successful adults.

As teens, my daughters had several friends who grew up in “a bubble”. Although we lived in an extremely safe neighborhood, their friends were afraid to walk down their own street without a parent. Moms supervised their homework assignments all the way through senior year. Every teacher-student disagreement was settled by a parent. Needless to say, those kids were a hot mess in college.

I don’t believe in over-parenting. Growing up, my mom fed and clothed us and occasionally asked if we had done our homework. We knew our “job” was to work hard and do well in school. At the tender age of 12, I found a job washing dishes at a restaurant.  By 14, I was a cashier at a big box store where I remained until I graduated high school. After high school, I moved from a small town in Germany to NYC to work as an Au Pair. I was able to stand on my own two feet. This was before cell phones and internet.

I look around and wonder what happened to independent young people? These days, parents still hover as their children attend college. Here’s what I see;  a bunch of  academically overqualified teens who are under-equipped to deal with the day-to-day issues of life. Many are afraid of their own shadow.

kids graduation

Some college kids don’t even pick their own classes. Their parents do it.  It’s real and I’ve seen it. The University of Utah has built a “cry closet” for students who feel overwhelmed with finals.

Isn’t college supposed to be a place to prepare students for adulthood? Sure, even adults get overwhelmed sometimes. We cry. But we do not expect places to be built for us so we can have a public breakdown. Furthermore, employers don’t offer “cry closets”. You deal with “stuff” or you get fired. This will really give you something to cry about.

Parents of college students need to step back and let the young adults handle their own college experience. While parents might think they are acting in their kids’ best interests, they are, in fact, denying them the opportunity to look after themselves.

Let your kids deal with the broken heater in their dorm. Have them pay rent and balance their check books. Encourage them to get a job. And please, let them pick their own classes.

Pushing yourself to overcome challenge is a source of pride for most people. This is not about being perfect. When my kids achieve a goal, I congratulate them. When they fail I give them encouragement on what they did well and let them know that I believe in them. I also encourage them to try harder.

In my opinion, allowing your kids to deal with “life” is true love and true love thinks beyond instant gratification and short-lived happiness. True love values character and commitment over quick fixes.

Studies have found that when parents take over their children’s lives, the children feel more self-conscious and worried. To those kids the world must seem like a very scary place.

graduation

The truth is your kids are longing to live so let them. If you micromanage your kids they will try  to prove to you they can do it “their way”. If your teenager feels you cannot handle the truth about their life, they will hide it from you. My kids are not afraid to tell me when they mess up. They know I believe in them and I know they will try harder next time.

Trust me, you will be a lot more influential in your teen’s decision making if you cultivate an open relationship.

When we “clear the road” for our children, we make their life too easy.  We don’t allow them to build necessary life skills they’ll so desperately need to handle the “real world”.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share them in the comment section below.

 

100 Squats A Day – Do It With Me!

Squats are great! There are numerous studies out there explaining how squats will help any person.

They activate almost every muscle in the body, including butt, thigh and core.  It really is a wonderful daily exercise for people of all ages.

Strong legs are crucial for staying mobile as you get older, and squats are phenomenal for increasing leg strength. We need to be able to squat to pick up things off the floor, to play with our toddlers, or to garden. We all want to stay mobile for as long as we can and this exercise will help us keep moving.

Squats  also help prevent injury by improving your flexibility. They help you burn more fat, as one of the best ways to burn more calories continually is by developing more muscle. And don’t get me started on what they can do for your butt!

I decided to commit to a challenge:

                                     100 squats a day for 30 days

Who wants to squat with me?

I usually  do 40-50 squats in the morning, the rest in the evening. If you’re new to squats, repeat 20 times in several sets. Start slowly and do not overdo it. To make this exercise more challenging, add weights.

Here are some more benefits of this exercise:

  • Good for digestion
  • Improves circulation
  • Improves bowel movements
  • Low impact, and therefore doesn’t put strain on one’s back
  • Can be done without any equipment
  • Can be done anywhere, indoors or out
  • Improves posture

 

Having great form and technique when doing a squat is important in avoiding injury and achieving maximum benefit.

Do you squat? If not, give it a try. Come join me and let me know in the comments below.

The Softest Shag Rug For A Teen Room

**Disclosure: I received a free product for review. All opinions are 100% mine.**

New Rug in Teen Room
teen room

Shag rug for teen room

Natural Rugs

For a teenage boy his bedroom is like a fort protecting him from the outside world. It’s a place where he can go to get some private space or hang out with friends. It’s also a place where he can start to express his own identity separate from the rest of the household.

A few months ago, my teen was ready for a larger bed. At 14 years old, he stands 5’11” so his old twin sized bed just didn’t cut it anymore. He upgraded to a queen bed, which meant getting a new mattress, bed frame, comforter, duvet cover, and sheets. I also added new art work and a better desk chair.

My son loves neutral colors – grey, black, and brown are his favorite. He prefers minimal decor with sleek , clean lines. Recently, we added a rug to his room, which provides some extra padding to the hardwood floors. I let him pick out the rug and he chose this Natural Area Rugs shag rug.  Shag rugs are cozy, soft, and luxurious. I love them. This rug feels so soft on bare feet and compliments the room’s modern decor. It adds style and comfort. Now the room feels “warmer” and cozier.

Natural Rugs

Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy to pick a rug. Natural Area Rugs has a huge selection of contemporary, jute, sisal, grass, etc, rugs. All their rugs come with a FREE rug pad and shipping is always FREE.

Here are just a few of their products.

Product Image

Bermuda Oriental Rug w/ FREE Rug Pad             Grandeur Contemporary Rug w/ FREE Rug Pad